


sometimes, it's enough

by prongs117



Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 07:38:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4616904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prongs117/pseuds/prongs117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demelza has questions. Inspired by the ending of 1x04.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sometimes, it's enough

Demelza woke up with a half-smile on her lips. She stared up at the ceiling feeling more light-hearted than usual. For a moment she was puzzled at the source of this when she turned to her side and looked at Ross.

 

_Oh._ She realized. The words from last night came back to her.

 

_I am your humble servant and I love you._

 

She had no idea how much she had been longing to hear those words until he said it. When Ross first asked her to marry him, she had been stunned, overwhelmed then overjoyed. It meant she had never had to leave him, never mind what else it would mean. She wasn’t blind, she knew all about Elizabeth and had accepted it as fact that he could never love her like he did Elizabeth. Demelza did not care then, she never longed for something she knew she could not get.

 

But all these months of being so close to Ross, of being intimate with him but knowing she did not have his heart had taken their toll. She always made the best of what life gave her but even to her, it seemed cruel to be with the man she loved but could never really have.

 

Then it happened. He told her loved her.

 

Demelza was too full of energy to stay in bed any longer. She dressed and took Garrick out for a walk on the cliffs, gathering wildflowers along the way. Nothing changed in her routine yet everything had changed because for the first time since her mother died, she knew was truly loved. It was new sensation and she needed time to get used to it and space to gather her thoughts.

 

It was later than usual when she let herself in the parlor at Nampara to see to her flowers. Ross was standing there looking out the window.

 

“Ross! Have you be down long?”

 

“Not long. I was wondering where you’ve gone off to.”

 

Looking at him now, in the bare light of day, the events of last night suddenly seemed unreal. He didn’t look any different, he was still the same man she saw everyday and this confused Demelza. The Ross who she prayed and hoped would love her like he loved Elizabeth and the man who confessed his love to her last night seem like two different people in her head yet here he is standing in front of her.

 

“I got up early and took Garrick out for a walk.”

 

He nodded but seemed distracted, his mind already on the work to be done for the day. Normally this didn’t bother Demelza. So many times they had to remind each other to eat or rest, both intent on their respective tasks. But this morning she wanted some assurance that the things he said last night was not some product of the imagination of a love-starved and desperate girl.

 

That entire day, Demelza’s mind kept going over and over the last day and a half, trying to sort out her feelings and understand Ross’. The problem was she didn’t know what changed for him, why he loved her now when didn’t before. Such a change of heart had never happened to her for she had loved Ross for as long as she knew him.

 

Finally, she gave up the entire thing as useless and resolved to just ask Ross about it. They talk about so many things but they had managed to avoid the subject of their feelings until last night.

 

As they ate together that night and talked about the events of the day as they always did, Demelza wondered how she was going to broach such a topic. It seemed so out of place with their daily concerns about the mine, the fields and the farm. It was only during a lull in the conversation when both seemed preoccupied with their own thoughts that she decided to speak.

 

“Ross…I wanted to ask you something,” she started hesitantly.

 

He looked at her in surprise. The last time he heard Demelza speak in that tone was when she first asked for Garrick to sleep in the house, back when she expected a reprimand for every request. It seemed a lifetime ago.

 

“Of course. What is it?,” he answered gently, trying to ease her difficulty.

 

“About what you said last night. That you…love me. May I ask why?”

 

“Well, I was certainly not expecting such a question, ” he replied, puzzled. “Why do you ask? Does it really matter?”

 

“It does to me. I know you didn’t love me before because of…your past. Because of Elizabeth. Why now? What changed?”

 

He wouldn’t deny the comment about Elizabeth because it was only the truth, loath as he is to hear it now coming from his wife. It was a simple question but there seemed no simple or easy answers.

 

“To be honest, I don’t really know. Because you’re you. You’re Demelza. As for why now? Maybe I was too selfish or stupid that I didn’t know it before. I told you once, I don’t always see what’s right in front of me.” He shrugged, half-apologizing for his vague answers. “That seems to be the case here.”

 

He studied her, trying to gauge her response but all she did was nod and turned to the look at the fire thoughtfully.

 

“What difference does it make Demelza? We’re here now and we’re happy aren’t we?” For a moment, he had the awful feeling that maybe she was regretting her decision, that he had admitted his love too late.

 

“Of course, Ross. I have everything I could ever want or need here. I have you.” She knew that it was not really his answer that was important but the assurance that this wasn’t just some passing feeling that would wear off in time.

 

“Then why?”

 

“Because what if you realized you’d rather not be married to some miner’s daughter from Illugan who cannot act all genteel even if she tried. Wouldn’t you rather have some fancy heiress who can give you money for the mine? Lord knows you can get them if you went out in into society more often. And maybe smiled a bit instead of glowering all the time!” She couldn’t help adding, cheekily.

 

Ross laughed at that. “Are you giving me pointers on how to catch some heiress? No, my love, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. I’m sure there’s any number of fine ladies out there with ten thousand a year but I can’t be bothered to look at them.”

 

“As for acting all genteel, who cares about that when you can beat Ruth Treneglos at her own game? I’m afraid John Treneglos is now hopelessly besotted with you.”

 

“Oh Ross. You know that’s not true.” Nevertheless, she laughed and blushed and carried on talking with him about everyday matters, big and small. It didn’t seem so important now, the reasons. His past, _her_ past, their future, none of that mattered now. What mattered was this moment and this man and this home. Demelza knew that whatever else might happen in their lives, she would always have this and that was enough.

 


End file.
